Toni Kathleen Abney Wilcox, May 25, 1953 – August 31, 2022

Toni Kathleen Abney Wilcox left this life for her next one on August 31, 2022, leaving a hole the size of  Texas in the hearts of all who loved her over the course of her 69 years.

Known by a wide variety of nicknames, including Nehi Red, Carrot Cake, Big Red (despite her diminutive frame), Pet by her grandkids and her Band Booster Babies, and the Red Flash, when flying to the protection of someone she considered "hers," Toni lived up to, and at times exceeded, the fiery, full-throttle personality of natural redheads everywhere.

Daughter of David and Shirley Abney; sister to Randy, Micki and Perry; sister-in-law to Teresa Abney, Marty Hare, and Don Barbour; wife to James Bostic and later Dale Wilcox; mother to Jacy and Justin; granddaughter to Cecil and Alva Compton; grandmother to Cole, Logan, Luke, Dylan, Drake, Callie and Catalina; cousin to Teri, Cindy, Mandy, Jeff, and Amy; aunt and great aunt to many adoring nieces and nephews; and beloved "best friend" to hundreds of others, Toni didn't know the meaning of doing anything halfway. She loved with her whole heart, gave with everything she had, danced like no one was watching, sang at the drop of a hat, protected the weak, and never met a wrong she wouldn't try to right, an event she couldn't organize, or a bully she wouldn't go nose-to-nose and toe-to-toe with. A cross between Mark Twain and Will Rogers, Toni was a natural-born teller of tall tales with a quick wit and a ready laugh, who always had any room she entered in the palm of her hand.

Born May 25, 1953, in Dallas, Texas, Toni came from pioneer stock who traveled from Tennessee by wagon train in 1854 and settled in what became known as Pleasant Valley, an unincorporated area on the outskirts of Rowlett, and home to an endearing collection of characters, rascals, eccentrics and good old country people. While things between her parents were not always easy, and her dad left home before Toni was a teen, she forged a tight bond with her siblings, who, though they might have fought amongst themselves -- with a little rock-throwing, name-calling, cat-tossing, and hair-pulling thrown in --  always presented a united front to the rest of the world.  Summertime found Toni and her ragamuffin posse made up of sister Micki and sister-of-the-heart Vaune Raskopf, riding bareback across the hot, dusty countryside, their horses' bridles made of haying wire and rope, hunting for empty Coke bottles so they could use the glass deposit to pay for their summer sausage sandwiches at the Pleasant Valley Store. For the rest of her life, whenever Toni or a member of her posse would take one another out, they'd say, "I'm treating today.  I found a stash of Coke bottles."

Toni attended Garland Public Schools, each school day beginning and ending with an hour-long ride on Bus #5, a wild, carnivalesque, Lord-of-the-Flies experience where the young, the small, and the bespectacled bookworms sat huddled close to the front of the bus, hoping to God they escaped the notice of the boisterous, FFA-jacket-wearing farm boys in the back. Toni protected many a child from the bus bullies, including one day, her younger brother Perry, who was attacked by an angry giant of a teen, accusing Perry of sticking a pin into his sister's butt. Flying across the seats, Toni backed the bully all the way off the bus, poking him in the chest and warning him to leave her brother alone. It was only very recently that Perry confessed to Tony that he had indeed poked a pin into the girl's derriere.

Toni met her first husband, James Bostic, while in high school, married him at the age of 19, and had her  two beautiful children with him – Jacy, who inherited her mom's chin and eyes, her love of laughter, and her raucous reaction to sporting events, and Justin, who got his mom's red hair and unique ability to turn a phrase into something outlandishly funny.  Both were blessed with Toni's organizational skills, her work ethic, intelligence, and loyal, kind heart. Whatever her kids needed, Toni was there. She always served as room mother for their classes, and when Jacy was in high school, Toni became President of the Band Boosters, which is where she met her dear friend, Linda Naylor. She attacked that volunteer job with her usual zeal, raising funds, and providing the band kids with everything from snacks to socks and solace, as well as advice on anything from getting through mid-terms to mending a broken heart.

Upon graduating from high school, Toni went to work at the Garland Public Library where she reigned as the circulation supervisor for almost a decade, greeting every patron who entered by name and making each think they were her favorite. It was the perfect job for someone who loved people and books as much as Toni, and it allowed her to meet another close friend, Debbie Starte. After the library, Toni went to work at Garland Memorial Hospital, and then ESI, a division of TI, where she oversaw all domestic and international travel with her customary General-Patton-like efficiency.  Her supervisor used to comment that "Toni was the best boss he ever had."  From ESI, Toni spent a short amount of time at TI, before going on to start her own house-cleaning business, which played perfectly to her passion for a well-organized household, her hatred of "dust bunnies" and her skill at interior design.  Her customers, almost all of whom became her friends, especially Jennifer Richardson, would come home to find their residences immaculate, and many times, their furniture rearranged.

For someone who loved to clean, Toni didn't really enjoy cooking.  She would say her favorite thing to make for dinner was a reservation and that her dream kitchen would be one that had fake, cardboard appliances. But, still, she always ended up feeding hordes of people and feeding them well…everything from her famous brisket or spaghetti sauce (the secret was adding enough oregano to turn it green) to her Grandma Compton's mashed potatoes, pinto beans and greens, all cooked in her Grandma's cast iron pan, and for dessert, her Better Than Sex cake, which she didn't name and didn't eat, but ended up making for everyone else.

Toni's other loves included trading obscure movie quotes with sister Randy, the State Fair of Texas, her  dogs, especially Footer and Lexi, her many horses, in particular Kokee, Fritos, Pure Leaf Raspberry Iced Tea, peanut M&Ms, Coconut Cream Pie, Twix bars, macadamia nuts, and Coca Cola. She was never without a small cooler of regular Cokes – never Diet – beside her.  And then, there was Christmas, Toni really, really loved Christmas.

For Toni, Christmas began without fail the day after Thanksgiving when she set up her tree, decorated every inch of her house in silver in blue (because she felt red clashed with her hair), and put her Christmas cards in the mail. Hers were always the first cards of the holiday season that anyone received, reminding all recipients they had better get off their duffs because Christmas was coming. Holiday gift-giving was a big thing for Toni, and, even when money was tight, she would shop all year, searching for the perfect gift for everyone on her list. The holidays got even better for Toni when she had grandchildren, all seven of them were so very precious to her. Christmas morning found Toni and the grandkids acting as the elves, handing gifts out to everyone, and then, as the grand finale, Toni would read an original poem she'd authored that contained hints on the location of a last special present, which the grandkids would scramble all over each, like barnyard kittens, to find.

What Toni really excelled at was dancing.  Not only could she two-step on roller skates like no one's business, but, put her on a dance floor, and all eyes would be on her. She shared a passion for dancing with Dale, the love of her life, and the two of them would go out dancing every Friday night, moving together as one, a Country Western Fred and Ginger. Toni once suggested that when she died she wanted her ashes spread on the dance floor so everyone would go home with a little piece of her on their boots. As for music, Toni's tastes were eclectic and wide-ranging, including artists like the Eagles, the Beatles, Aretha Franklin, Lady Gaga, George Strait, Tom Purdy, and, of course, Jimmy Buffet.

Toni was also a true patriot. She sobbed anytime the National Anthem was played, and you had better have your hat off and your hand on your heart when "Oh say can you see" began or risk having Toni cuff you upside your head. On a trip to DC, she cried at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and wept yet again as she watched mothers, wives and children laying flowers throughout Arlington Memorial. And she completely lost it in Normandy, France, during a trip with Randy and Vaunie, when a French woman touched her heart and said in halting English, "We do not forget."

In many ways, Toni's life wasn't an easy one, but she never gave up and she never gave in. As a teen because of strife at home, she moved in with the guiding light of her life, Grandma Compton, whose voice Toni would always hear in her head, saying, "Well Toni, go ahead and do that if can tell me on what day two wrongs started making a right." As the divorced mom of two, Toni often lived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so she could ensure her kids had lunch money and pizza on Friday night. The sudden death of Micki, her "sister-child," about ten years ago just about brought her to her knees, and the last years with Dale, who suffered a series of strokes, were hard on them both. But she stood by her man, loyal to the end.

Very simply, Toni Abney Wilcox was a good and noble person, who lived her life according to the Golden Rule, and our lives are the poorer for her being gone.

For the legions of people who are mourning her, who are grieving and cannot understand how a heart so big or a personality so bold can simply cease to be, there is solace in remembering that, according to the first law of thermodynamics, energy can neither be created nor destroyed; it can only be transformed.  And so, Toni's energy has been transformed, surrounding, embracing, and protecting all those she considered hers.  As for Toni herself, she has gone beyond the veil where we can no longer see her but where we know she lives on, pain-free, forever-young, reunited with her beloved Micki.  Two redheads, riding their horses bareback into the wind, galloping, faster and faster and faster, over the Elysian Fields of Pleasant Valley, past Bus #5 rounding the bend onto Merritt Road with Smokey at the wheel, past the old men playing dominoes at the Pleasant Valley Store, past Grandpa Compton, paused at his ploughing watching them come, straight into the arms of Grandma Compton, who has been waiting to welcome Toni home.

"Don't grieve for me for now I'm free….

My life's been full, I savored much,

Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief,

Lift up your hearts and peace to thee,

God wanted me now: He set me free…"